Download Shag Yourself Slim by Imah Goer PDF

By Imah Goer

Put out of your mind diets...Forget the gym...Forget every thing you knew approximately wasting weight... each element of shagging burns energy. And this booklet tells you the way many energy each one place will burn*. So get this ebook, get shagging and get slender! * purely aids weight reduction as a part of a calorie-controlled nutrition.

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Twice. 20 calories ✰ TOTAL: 100 calories ✰ 64 FOR HER Shagging - up the arse Recoiling in horror when you realise what he’s doing 10 calories Letting him give you one right up there whilst wondering whether to mention your diarrhoea problem 40 calories Apologising to him while he washes everything in the room twice.

FOR HIM Foreplay - groping Groping one erogenous zone (fully clothed) 10 calories Groping two erogenous zones at the same time (fully clothed) 20 calories Groping three erogenous zones at the same time (fully clothed) 30 calories ✰ TOTAL: 60 calories ✰ 30 FOR HER Foreplay - kissing Kissing your partner’s neck 5 calories Kissing your partner’s lips 5 calories Kissing with tongues 10 calories Wiping the saliva off your lips using your partner’s hair 5 calories ✰ TOTAL: 25 calories ✰ 31 FOR HIM Foreplay - nibbling Nibbling your partner’s ears 5 calories Nibbling your partner’s fingers 5 calories Nibbling your partner’s nipples 5 calories Nibbling your partner’s cream cakes minus 300 calories ✰ TOTAL: minus 285 calories ✰ 32 FOR HER Foreplay - stimulating Countering the effects of brewer’s droop in your drunk partner by using your hand 5 calories Countering the effects of brewer’s droop in your drunk partner by using your mouth 5 calories Jumping on top of him quickly before he passes out 10 calories ✰ TOTAL: 20 calories ✰ 33 FOR HIM Foreplay - golden shower Persuading your partner to let you piss on her 2 calories Pissing on your partner 5 calories Running after your angry partner who thought you were only kidding 100 calories ✰ TOTAL: 107 calories ✰ 34 FOR HER Foreplay - bondage Putting on various items of leather clothing 5 calories Locking your partner to the bed with a pair of furry handcuffs 5 calories Cutting off the handcuffs with a hacksaw after you realise you’ve lost the keys 100 calories ✰ TOTAL: 110 calories ✰ 35 FOR HER Foreplay - S&M Making your man lick your shoes while you spank his bare bottom 5 calories Making your man sit in a dog kennel while you watch telly 2 calories Opening a tin of dog food and making him eat out of the dog’s bowl with his face 5 calories ✰ TOTAL: 12 calories ✰ 36 FOR HIM Foreplay - M&S Choosing new M&S underwear 5 calories Winking at your woman to join you in the changing rooms 2 calories Realising this store doesn’t have changing rooms and being forced to have sex at home like everyone else 5 calories ✰ TOTAL: 12 calories ✰ 37 FOR HIM Foreplay - whilst driving Getting her tits out with one hand on the wheel 10 calories Having a fish and finger pie whilst keeping an eye on the road 20 calories Thinking of an excuse for the accident to write on the insurance form 5 calories ✰ TOTAL: 35 calories ✰ 38 FOR HER Foreplay - whilst driving Undoing his trousers with one hand on the wheel 5 calories When faced with two sticks remembering which one to use to change gear 2 calories Realising windscreen wipers won’t clean on the inside 2 calories ✰ TOTAL: 9 calories ✰ 39 FOR HIM Foreplay - oral Chucking your woman in the shower, especially if she’s French 5 calories Giving her a good seeing-to with your tongue 50 calories Rinsing the pubes out of your mouth 5 calories ✰ TOTAL: 60 calories ✰ 40 FOR HER Foreplay - oral Chucking your man in the shower, whether or not he’s French 5 calories Licking his lollipop until it explodes 50 calories Bravely deciding to swallow instead of spitting minus 200 calories ✰ TOTAL: minus 145 calories ✰ 41 FOR HIM Foreplay - 69 Getting into position 5 calories Stopping to explain that she’s meant to being gobbling you while you gobble her 5 calories Enjoying a hairy pie while your lollipop is licked 40 calories ✰ TOTAL: 50 calories ✰ 42 FOR HER Foreplay - 69 Getting into position 5 calories Enjoying yourself even though his nob keeps bashing you in the face 20 calories Sucking his snake while your bean enjoys a good tongue flicking 40 calories ✰ TOTAL: 65 calories ✰ 43 FOR HIM Shagging - doggy style Taking her from behind 20 calories Moving her around a bit so you can still see the telly 10 calories Giving her the best session she’s had since she once got too friendly with an Alsation 75 calories ✰ TOTAL: 105 calories ✰ 44 FOR HER Shagging - doggy style Letting him take you from behind 10 calories Straining your neck up so you can see the telly too 10 calories Wishing you still lived next door to that Alsation 5 calories ✰ TOTAL: 25 calories ✰ 45 FOR HIM Shagging - missionary Spreading her legs 5 calories Enjoying yourself while she pretends to 75 calories Rolling over, farting, and falling asleep 5 calories ✰ TOTAL: 85 calories ✰ 46 FOR HER Shagging - missionary Spreading your legs 5 calories Faking pleasure and an orgasm whilst thinking about what to wear tomorrow 50 calories Getting up and going out to have some fun once he’s passed out 200 calories ✰ TOTAL: 255 calories ✰ 47 FOR HIM Shagging - in the car Climbing into the back seat 5 calories Contorting yourself into an uncomfortable position ready to attempt entry 10 calories Pulling your clothes back on quickly when a friendly neighbour taps on the window to see if you’re OK 20 calories ✰ TOTAL: 35 calories ✰ 48 FOR HER Shagging - in the car Lying awkwardly on the back seat 5 calories Trying to stop him squashing you while he gets into position 20 calories Hiding your face when the neighbour opens the door and sees your knickers round your ankles 5 calories ✰ TOTAL: 30 calories ✰ 49 FOR HIM Shagging - on the car bonnet Helping her onto the bonnet 5 calories Doing it to her gently in case the bonnet gets dented 55 calories Panicking when you see the shape of her bum cheeks embedded into the metal 25 calories ✰ TOTAL: 85 calories ✰ 50 FOR HER Shagging - on the car bonnet Enjoying the feeling of the warm engine under your arse 5 calories Enjoying the feeling of the fresh night air on your twat 5 calories Helping him to straighten out the dent in the bonnet 100 calories ✰ TOTAL: 110 calories ✰ 51 FOR HIM Shagging - at the movies Walking to a subtle back row seat in the corner 5 calories Eating a gallon of popcorn minus 300 calories Timing your shag noises to the sounds in the film 30 calories ✰ TOTAL: minus 265 calories ✰ 52 FOR HER Shagging - at the movies Lifting up your skirt and sitting on him 5 calories Waiting for him to finish his popcorn 2 calories Trying to show no expression when people turn round to see what the noise is all about 40 calories ✰ TOTAL: 47 calories ✰ 53 FOR HIM Shagging - her on top Lying on your back groping her tits while she sits on you 10 calories Letting her do all the work 0 calories Making a few token thrusts so she doesn’t get bored and stop 25 calories ✰ TOTAL: 35 calories ✰ 54 FOR HER Shagging - her on top Climbing onto him while he gropes your tits 15 calories Doing all the work 150 calories Getting bored and stopping because he’s making no effort 0 calories ✰ TOTAL: 165 calories ✰ 55 FOR HIM Shagging - in a porn film Having to ‘keep wood’ for hours at a time during multiple takes 300 calories Having to shag dozens of birds in a day’s work 500 calories Feeling guilty that you have such a great job while your mates work in a pie factory 10 calories ✰ TOTAL: 810 calories ✰ 56 FOR HER Shagging - in a porn film Allowing access to parts of you that are normally exits only 20 calories Trying to keep moist under the hot studio lights 100 calories Faking orgasm twenty times in a day 300 calories ✰ TOTAL: 420 calories ✰ 57 FOR HIM Shagging - silently Trying to find a sexual position that won’t make the bed creak and wake up your housemates 40 calories Forcing yourself to pump slowly so that you don’t grunt too much 40 calories Muffling the sound of your orgasm by burying your face into her tits 20 calories ✰ TOTAL: 100 calories ✰ 58 FOR HER Shagging - silently Lying still, not needing to fake enjoyment 5 calories Bracing your arms against the wall to muffle the bed’s vibrations 60 calories Worrying that your friends will think you’re having an epileptic fit and storm in to save you 10 calories ✰ TOTAL: 75 calories ✰ 59 FOR HIM Shagging - noisily Thrusting as hard as possible with the aim of breaking the bed 200 calories Howling with delight at the top of your voice 10 calories Repairing the wooden slats under the bed 70 calories ✰ TOTAL: 280 calories ✰ 60 FOR HER Shagging - noisily Rolling over every couple of minutes to change positions in a fervour of passion 200 calories Thumping the mattress in orgasmic ecstasy 30 calories Phoning your boyfriend to tell him you’re ready to see him now 5 calories ✰ TOTAL: 235 calories ✰ 61 FOR HIM Shagging - a prostitute Asking various women how much they charge before finding an actual prozzie 20 calories Explaining to her that your wife doesn’t understand you 10 calories Stopping half way through to see if you have enough cash to touch both nipples 20 calories ✰ TOTAL: 50 calories ✰ 62 FOR HER Shagging - a client Explaining the tariff 5 calories Listening to his bullshit about his wife not understanding him 5 calories Removing his hands from your breasts and explaining they’re optional extras 20 calories ✰ TOTAL: 30 calories ✰ 63 FOR HIM Shagging - up the arse Persuading her you got the wrong hole by accident but now you’re there...

20 calories ✰ TOTAL: 100 calories ✰ 64 FOR HER Shagging - up the arse Recoiling in horror when you realise what he’s doing 10 calories Letting him give you one right up there whilst wondering whether to mention your diarrhoea problem 40 calories Apologising to him while he washes everything in the room twice.

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